


Even If It's a Lie

by sarasfics



Category: Peaky Blinders (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-25
Updated: 2018-01-25
Packaged: 2019-03-09 10:21:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13479477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sarasfics/pseuds/sarasfics
Summary: Reader is in love with Arthur Shelby, but reaches a breaking point.





	Even If It's a Lie

She sat at the end of the bar, close enough to the door to feel every wave of cold air that circulated throughout the pub whenever a new person crossed through the burgundy doorway. She felt ridiculous, always coming to this bar in hopes of seeing him. Although she was a Suffragette, she constantly found herself stuck between two different personas. One was the headstrong girl leading a revolution, the other a simple girl hopelessly infatuated with a man.

Every time she saw him she was overcome by the urge to fling herself at him, wanting nothing more than to lie in his arms. But sadly, real life was not a Jane Austen novel. She loved her freedom, and craved more of it everyday. She just wanted someone to share her freedom with. Unfortunately, in 1920s Birmingham you are either a prostitute, or married. She wanted neither– marriage was an excuse for a man to control her, and prostitution was being given money to let a man control her. Either choice left her fate in someone else’s hands.

‘There he is.’ She thought, instantly sitting up straighter upon seeing Arthur Shelby enter the room. Almost instantly, a woman walks over to the Peaky Boys’ usual table, chatting to them. Many girls went after Arthur Shelby. Around here, he had quite the reputation.

It was a well-known fact that Arthur was involved with many women. He was passionate in every sense of the word. When he fought, he fought as if every bone in his body depended on it. She heard he was the same way in the bedroom.

She met him three years ago, when she arrived to Birmingham by train. He was stood on the platform, with a man she had presumed to be his father. He did not know her well, as they had only talked a few times. But every time she saw him disappear into the back with a girl, she felt her heart break a bit more.

She felt a bit queasy, and decided to take a quick trip to the toilet to splash some water on her face. God, she knew she could not do this to herself anymore. She was lusting after a man who was nine years older than her, and only barely knew her name. She turned to look at herself in the mirror while she was in there, making sure her mascara hadn’t smudged.

Before she was able to brush the excess mascara off her cheek, she could hear moans coming from the other side of the wall. She knew full well who it was, and she didn’t want to think about it. The mere thought of Arthur being with someone else made her want to curl into a ball and cry.

In that moment, she realized she could not go on loving a man who knew nothing of her. So she sat back down at the bar, bought herself a bottle of bourbon, and drowned her emotions in the vice.

Later that night, she was walking home, a bit drunk from the copious amounts of alcohol she drank. She felt lighter, as if the burden of Arthur Shelby was not weighing her down anymore. She stumbled through the slums of Small Heath, struggling to turn the door handle that was the barrier between the cold street and her warm bed. When she arrived at work the next day, it was a normal Thursday morning. Except this morning John Shelby and his wife arrived at the dress shop, seeking a dress to wear to a wedding.

She assumed it was Thomas Shelby’s wedding, nearly all of Birmingham had heard about it. Most people she knew were rather taken aback by the grandiose wedding taking place at the Shelby estate, a large mansion containing servants and maids. It wasn’t exactly the place Thomas Shelby was expected to end up, especially when he grew up a gypsy boy in the shithole that was her home city.

Every once in a while she would glance at the couple, listening in on their simple exchanges. Since the night before her judgement seemed to be less clouded, her world was clear. It could easily have been the booze, or maybe it was the book on Buddhism her close friend had bought her. Either way, she felt less of a burden. Maybe after three years her heart decided she needed a break.

When she walked home that night, she was in a daze. She noticed the subtle nuances in the lights that shone down on the old streets, the scent of gasoline and smoke thick in the air. Drifting off in her own world, she found herself running into the man himself, Arthur Shelby.

“Sorry.” She spoke sheepishly, ducking her head down. Her mood instantly changed, and all she wanted was to get home. He was confused, to say the least. He saw her walking home in a daze, but now as he looked over her shoulder her head was down and she made bee-line in the direction of Victoria Street. He knew he had seen her around before, a few times at the Garrison. She was one of them Suffragettes that always gave Tommy a hard time.

Sure, she was pretty, but the feminists were not to be tampered with. Too angry, he reckoned. He already had enough aggression, probably would clash with ‘em. Nonetheless, he still found himself wanting to play with fire. Especially with a girl like that.

As the weeks went by, she found herself drifting farther and farther away from her schoolgirl crush. She no longer went to the Garrison. On Saturday nights, she started going to the Eden, a club in London with the other Suffragettes. The Eden was a breeding ground for the socially unacceptable and indecent acts. They would dance and drink freely, knowing the Eden was a place that held no judgement. That was, until one night a brawl broke out.

One Saturday, the club’s indecent acts paused. When she looked at the cause, she felt all the air leave her lungs.

It was Arthur, this time with John and Tommy. Just a few weeks before, she saw John smiling and whispering sweet nothings into the ear of the woman he loved. Now, he took a swig from a bottle only in between punches. Arthur looked mad, insane even, rage consuming every fiber of his being. This was not the man she once loved, and she had to run away from this situation. She heard the fighting stop due to a gunshot. She ran, not stopping to look back until she was outside.

Arthur heard the sound of high heeled shoes rapping on the hardwood floor, seeing the same girl who hurried to her home a few weeks back hurry out of the club. He walked out with his brothers, looking around the building for the familiar girl.

She was crouching on the ground on the side of the building. Her head was spinning, endless questions running through her mind faster than the speed of sound. ‘Why was he here?’ ‘Did he fire the gunshot?’ ‘Is he dead?’

“Oi! You there!” She heard a Brummie accent call out to her. Her eyes widened, and she struggled to get up to her feet, attempting to calmly escape the attention from the man who just moments before had terrified hundreds of partygoers.

“Wait!” She only kept running only to trip on a pothole. “God dammit!” She exclaimed, feeling the sting of impact with the cement. “Need a hand?” Arthur asked, extending a hand to the drunk girl laying in the street. “No need to run, I don’t bite.”

“Maybe not bite, but you certainly punch.” She breathed out, angry at the situation she was in. “Well, if it’s alright with you, I better get going.” Fucking heels. Why can’t there be presentable shoes that allow a girl to function? That would be nice for a change.

“Wait! I’ve seen you at my pub. Why are you at Sabini’s club?” He knew the girl was from Birmingham, and he could not help but wonder if she was giving information to Sabini.

A long breath of air left her lungs. The last thing she wanted was to envelop herself in his vicious cycle again. “Look, Mr. Shelby, I came here for a night out with my friends. I really am not interested in a chat.” She ran off into the streets, quickly blending in with the crowd, leaving Arthur Shelby confused and alone.


End file.
